Heels are both formal and party wear

I used to work in a conservative, older cubefarm. At the time, I was the youngest there by a good 12, 15 years, and 90% of them spanned well older than that. It was also mostly men. I was a contractor, so I had two separate, yet intertwined chains of command. At the end of the day, the cubefarm company was our client and we were there to make and keep them happy. There were 6 distinct departments within the office.

This was my first office job.

At some point, somebody in the office took it upon themselves to rally to my rescue in terms of appropriate professional attire. This took the form of going up the chain of command to the head boss. Who then told my contractor boss. Who would then come into the office, look me up and down, roll his eyes, and go in to meet with the head boss to tell him this was ridiculous and to try to get said anonymous hero to be kindly and firmly told off.

I had thought I was doing pretty decently at the whole professional attire game. I wasn’t a pigpen and I wasn’t salacious. I always look a bit disheveled, I can’t help it—trust me. There were men in the office in stained, untucked old polos. I was targeted.

Maybe one day I’ll write more about the ‘political’ environment surrounding being targeted and the like. My focus today is some thoughts from many long hours spent trying to understand what exactly about how I was dressing was an issue, other than the concise summary of ‘sexism.’

As I mulled over how annoying it is that men’s clothing is easy for them, I had an insight into just how dang loaded clothes is for women…Heels are formal wear, church wear, and party wear. If I wear flats or sneakers most days, when there is an important professional event, does it matter how sensible the heel is, or does it look like I’m going out no matter what?

And that’s just the shoes. Let’s talk about how much skin is visible slash how tight the clothes are. If my skirt lands just above my knees, are nylons provocative or sensible? And how much does it matter how attractive or unattractive the calf in question is?

Can I wear a skirt or dress that goes to just above the knee if my torso is totally hidden within a baggy top? And what is the precise alchemy of heel sensibility with skirt length? More specifically, when does an outfit along those spectrums transform into inappropriate for the office?

There are no answers. Certainly no good ones. But women perform this kind of calculus in the back of their minds every time they get dressed. Especially when in a conservative or toxically masculine work environment. And I did not even get to hair, jewelry, and makeup my goodness! Or, you know, salasciousness and demure are in the eye of the beholder and the collective cultural unconscious.